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Monday, August 31, 2009

Over the Top: Rational Dispensing of TP

Related Link » Toilet paper
“Toilet paper is a soft paper product (tissue paper) used to maintain personal hygiene after human defecation or urination. [...] Different names and slang terms are used for toilet paper in countries around the world, including [...] "TP".”
— ‘From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia’

For centuries, people have puzzled over rational dispensing of toilet paper. No more. A famous scientist (who chooses to remain anonymous) has finally concluded an exhaustive analysis of this tissue issue, which has vexed generations of people around the world, and has accounted for innumerable divorces in the United States and other countries, where paper products are used instead of hands (cf., Q: "Which hand do you use to wipe with?" A: "Neither; I use TP!").

Over the top! That is the final verdict for the rational dispensing of toilet paper.

The deciding factor was a serendipity finding, related to chronic lower-back pain. Yes, you read it correctly, back pain! In a fortuitous combination of circumstances, the scientist's wifey, having loaded a fresh TP roll at random (i.e., without consideration to its orientation with respect to its dispensing fixture) was followed into the bathroom by the scientist, who had decided to trim his mustache. After finishing his trimming, he sought a facial tissue to wipe away some hair clippings from his lower lip, only to find that the facial-tissue box was empty. Naturally, in such situations, instead of looking for a fresh box of facial tissue, the scientist, being a man, reached for the TP roll.

As it happens, the scientist suffers from chronic lower-back pain. And, unfortunately for him, his wifey had loaded the TP roll such that it dispensed tissue outward from underneath the roll (instead of over the top, as shown in the illustration, above). And, in bending down a bit lower than he would otherwise have had to do, the scientist experienced a twinge of lower-back pain and an epiphany:
A TP roll should be loaded so as to dispense tissue over the top of the roll, to help avoid lower-back pain.
Case closed.


h/t Theo

Post #912 Over the Top: Rational Dispensing of TP

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