Note Well:
This blog is intended for rational audiences. Its contents are the personal opinions of its author. If you quote from this blog, which you
may do with attribution, please assume personal accountability for any consequences of mischaracterizing these expressed intentions.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

And now for something off the beaten path ...

Related Link » Woman swallows 78 items of cutlery
“A woman obsessed with swallowing spoons and forks was forced to have an operation after she ate an entire canteen of cutlery. [...] Medics also revealed it was not the first time that she had been treated for eating the cutlery. [...] Doctors said there have reportedly been other cases as well of people being treated for the urge to eat unsuitable objects – but none that appear to have consumed quite as much cutlery in a single session. They confirmed that the woman had only ever eaten forks and spoons – but never knives. They were unable to explain why.”
— ‘’
See, I was right all along! When I had warned my young children that it was dangerous to swallow knives the way the circus professionals did, my admonitions were met with ridicule and general hilarity. Here we have definitive proof that even someone who thinks nothing of eating 78 spoons and forks understands the danger of eating just one knife.

What I find difficult to swallow, however, is that this woman was forced to have an operation. It seems abundantly clear to me that she will continue to crave other people's cutlery, assuming that the surgeons will confiscate the entire canteen of forks and spoons they retrieve from her abdomen. After all, she is known to be a habitual consumer of cutlery; what makes these people think she is going on a cutlery diet?

I don't know first hand, mind you, but I would venture to suppose that once a cutlery eater, always a cutlery eater. Wouldn't it make more sense to leave the cutlery where it was? Surely an empty stomach will soon get those hunger juices flowing, and then ... hang on to your forks and spoons.

And then what? Are we then going to have to eat our cereal with a knife? I think not! First of all, it is unseemly to eat cereal with a knife (not to mention inconvenient). Second, what happens on a plane, then? You know they can't let you have knives on a plane. How the heck are we going to deal with the whole security issue? But I digress ...

Post #984 And now for something off the beaten path ...

No comments:

Post a Comment