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Friday, October 30, 2009

Vidi. Vici. Veni.

Related Link » Obama 'Most Powerful Writer Since Julius Caesar,' Says NEA Chief
“Rocco Landesman, chairman of the National Endowment for the Arts, declared in a speech to art philanthropists in Brooklyn last week that President Obama is the world's most powerful writer since the days of Caesar.”
— ‘By Joseph Abrams, October 28, 2009 (’
Related Link » Obama Like Me? Roman, Please
Iowahawk Special Guest Commentary: Gaius Julius Caesar
“Yo mortal, how you livin'? It's your old pal JC, a/k/a Juicy Julius, a/k/a Flavius Flav. What's it been -- two, three millenniums? Yeah, longtimes. After that Forum dagger driveby by that punkass bitch Brutus and his crew, The Juice has been keepin' his shit on the downlow. [...] Anyhow, every since we got wifi at the Pantheon, I've been spending a lot more time online checkin' out the dillyo back in the mortal 'hood. That when I read about this choad praetor Rocco Landesman, saying that your new imperator Obamacus is "the most powerful writer since Julius Caesar." At first I was LMFAO because, let's face it, the Juice didn't waste his prime warrior time word processing a bunch of papyrus scrolls. Word cuz, where I come from that kind of bullshit is for light-in-the-sandals scribefags like Livy and Plutarch. So I guess it was like hearing "Obama is the greatest chariot mechanic since Julius Erving." But then I think about it, and I'm like, WTF? Obama's palace asslick is comparing him to me? Srsly? [...] Shit, I dunno, maybe I'm being too hard on Obamacus. The big problem is that the punk don't know how to pick a posse. Look at his Senators. Jupiter H. Cripes, I thought that crazyass Caligula was straightup psycho for appointing his horse to the Senate, but that thing had more brains than half these muthaf[*]ckers. Combined. And then there's his consuls and praetors. F[*]ck, if the Juice had that collections of douchebags the Roman Empire would have never made it past the Seven Hills Galleria Mall. Yo, Obamacus, the Juice was a rookie dictator himself once, and the Juice knows how it is. Every punk ruler-for-life wanna be the next Xerxes or Nero or Scarface. But you're never gonna get emperor game till y'all start learning to handle your candle. Know what I'm sayin'? I know you be thinkin' you're some kind of stone cold Claudius, layin' down some phat oratory at the Forum and plowing your enemies' fields under with salt. But you still a teleprompter punk, and you gotta know what you don't know.”
— ‘Iowahawk’
“Vidi. Vici. Veni.” [I saw. I conquered. I came.]
— BigJulie, The Original Czar; The Original Roman Polanski;
Original Master of All the Snatch He Saw (but NOT rape-raped)

h/t Theo

Post #985 Vidi. Vici. Veni.

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