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Monday, May 20, 2013

Got questions?

Cover of "Barbarella: Queen of the Galaxy...
Cover of Barbarella
A most annoying gimmick of the media these days is broadcasting leading-questions as news headlines. Are such headlines news? Of course not. They are biased assertions masquerading as news. Moreover, the contents of such news "articles" never offer definitive answers to the headline questions. Because there aren't any. They are, invariably, matters of opinion.

Let's rectify this bullshit (pun intended) with our own opinions, shall we?

Ask and You Shall Receive

  • Was Obama kept in the dark about the IRS scandal? Yes. Moreover, he was also fed bullshit like the f*cking mushroom that he is.
  • Do the American people deserve the truth? Yes. Moreover, they also deserve free lunch.
  • Do Republicans owe Rice an apology? Yes. Moreover, they also owe her a gallon of sweet-and-sour soy sauce.
  • Should Kim Jung-un be punished for thumbing his nose at the West? Yes. Moreover, Jane Fonda should personally administer the spanking, wearing her outfit from "Barbarella".
  • Is Holder in trouble for the AP records grab? No. Why not? Because he is a weasel. Also, Obama's got his back, leading from behind, as is his wont.
  • Should auld acquaintance be forgot? Who the hell knows? Is this even English?
  • Do we have a free press? Not quite. But pretty soon they will have to pay you to read their newspapers. Got internet?
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