Scientists Warn Ionosphere One Top-40 Hit Away From ExplodingLOS ALAMOS, NM—Astroturfphysicists at the Los Alamos National Laboratory (LANL) issued a nationwide alert Tuesday, warning that exposing the ionosphere to what passes for "music" these days is likely to "roil the molecules" in the ionosphere. Dr. S. Jake Blaguard, the principal investigator (PI) for the 10-month research project funded by the Gruntled Workers of America, a New Mexico special interest group, said, "Any more songs of the kind typically recorded by The Whistling Dixies is sure to trigger a chaotic event up there. And then there'll be hell to pay down here." He indicated that roiling molecules is a technical term, but declined to elaborate, citing copyright restrictions.
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