Related Link » NIH Funds $423,500 Study of Why Men Don't Like to Use CondomsAlthough I see nothing theoretically wrong with funding an important study such as the one proposed by the NIH, I've decided to take matters into my own hands, as it were, to get to the bottom of this issue and penetrate the obfuscation shielding the truth.“In what government watchdogs are calling a waste of taxpayer money, the National Institutes of Health is spending nearly half a million dollars to determine why men don't like to wear condoms during sex.”
After canvasing my own neighborhood and environs, barely escaping with my own privates intact (from assault by irate men and crazed women), here are some of my preliminary anecdotal findings:
- "I can't use them. They don't make them big enough." — Joe Bob "Bubba" Smith
- "I can't find one in my size." — Bob Joe "Tiny" Johnson
- "My man always sayin' how the dog ate it." — Unhappy mother of 17
- "I'm allergic to latex." — A hospital orderly
- "I don't condone random condom boredom conundrums." — A cunning linguist
- "Git yer ass off of ma porch, you pervert." — A woman wielding what appeared to be a very sharp knife
re: The broad with a knife...
ReplyDeleteI suppose her man won't be needing one...