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Thursday, March 6, 2008

Email Immortality

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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. — Woody Allen
I would venture to say many people have harbored a wish such as Woody Allen's famously clever plaint. Despite the alluring statistic that most people who have ever been born are still alive, people eventually realize that immortality can only be achieved the old fashioned way — you have to earn it.

Then there's the email option. I have, by now, accumulated more email addresses than you can shake a stick at. I have really lost track of all of them, but I had the presence of mind to aggregate all of their incoming mail at one catch-all terminus inbox, which is buried so deeply in the strata of convoluted copy-forwarding that some of my mail is delayed by up to 27 microseconds. Thank god for fiber optics and the speed of light, which insures that a googol transits of an infinite loop can be completed in under a minute.

So here's my plan. Some day, when a certain companion to taxes (no, not Texas) rears its ugly head on the horizon, I will forward the mail coming into my terminus inbox to one of my multitude of other addresses, thereby closing the email Mobius strip. Then I will email myself a farewell message that will be in transit forever.

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