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Can't we all just get along? I believe we can. The key, or missing link, to resolving any controversy is focus groups, polling, and compromise. OK, so it's three missing links, but you know what I'm saying.
What is all the fuss about? Evolution, shmevolution. The important thing is to get past this annoying controversy, which is nothing more than semantics anyway, and get on with the people's business — Will the Patriots cover the spread?
Well, if you just hear me out, I think the solution is very close at hand — bookies. After the Super Bowl, American bettors, all 250 million of them, will need another legitimate excuse for placing bets. The bookies can offer them a change of pace from boring sports (until March Madness rolls along): The National Intelligence Bowl. The betting public will wager on which dueling faction, those supporting the theory of evolution versus those who oppose it, deserves to be recognized as the rightful purveyors of truth.
I know what you're thinking. There have already been polls that show a majority of Americans support evolution. But since when does a survey determine truth? It doesn't. This is where the bookies come in. Everyone knows that the almighty buck determines the truth. So the bookies establish the odds that will account for the survey bias, thereby making it a fair contest. Not only will serious money be at stake, but pride of place (and saving face) too. As an extra bonus, free of charge, the winners will be allowed to claim intelligence superiority over the dumbass losers.
Oh yea, the winning side will be determined via the flip of a coin by Bill Gates, the only person in the world who doesn't need the money. It's win-win, baby!
Can't we all just get along? I believe we can. The key, or missing link, to resolving any controversy is focus groups, polling, and compromise. OK, so it's three missing links, but you know what I'm saying.
What is all the fuss about? Evolution, shmevolution. The important thing is to get past this annoying controversy, which is nothing more than semantics anyway, and get on with the people's business — Will the Patriots cover the spread?
Well, if you just hear me out, I think the solution is very close at hand — bookies. After the Super Bowl, American bettors, all 250 million of them, will need another legitimate excuse for placing bets. The bookies can offer them a change of pace from boring sports (until March Madness rolls along): The National Intelligence Bowl. The betting public will wager on which dueling faction, those supporting the theory of evolution versus those who oppose it, deserves to be recognized as the rightful purveyors of truth.
I know what you're thinking. There have already been polls that show a majority of Americans support evolution. But since when does a survey determine truth? It doesn't. This is where the bookies come in. Everyone knows that the almighty buck determines the truth. So the bookies establish the odds that will account for the survey bias, thereby making it a fair contest. Not only will serious money be at stake, but pride of place (and saving face) too. As an extra bonus, free of charge, the winners will be allowed to claim intelligence superiority over the dumbass losers.
Oh yea, the winning side will be determined via the flip of a coin by Bill Gates, the only person in the world who doesn't need the money. It's win-win, baby!
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