Second Amendment Right to Bear

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(CNSNews.com) - The First Amendment right to freedom of speech should be interpreted as preventing the U.S. government from denying a visa to a foreign critic of U.S. war-time policy who has been invited to speak here, even when national security concerns are cited, the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) is claiming in a federal lawsuit.

The above excerpt (emphasis added) demonstrates the depths of the barrel whose bottom the ACLU is currently scraping. My recommendation to the ACLU (one of several) would be to trawl for greener barrels (mixed metaphors intended). For instance, consider the Second Amendment right to bear arms. I submit the Founding Fathers did not intend to restrict that right to arms only. There are numerous other rights to be borne, none of which would even begin to push the envelope of the ACLU's tolerance for absurdity:

• right to bear children — show me where the Constitution grants this right to women, exclusively;
  
• right to bear fruit — not only the obvious choices (apples, oranges, and prunes) but also cake;
  
• right to bear a cross — the bible allows non-deities to do so, why not the Constitution;
  
• right to bear a burden — generalization of right to bear a cross (which see, above);
  
• right to bear a likeness — to others;
  
• right to bear false witness — this one is tricky, since it conflicts with long-standing traditions that criminalize perjury, but I know the ACLU is up to the challenge;
  
• right to bear the name of "John" — why not?
  
• right to bear seeing you beg for mercy — OK, I'll stop now; you get the point.