§ The Faking of the President, 2008

§ ≡ A section of Preserve, Protect, and Defend: Faithfully Executing the Office of the President
{Section 4.1 « Section 4.2 » Section 4.3}

The 2008 Nobel Prize in Sales & Marketing has been awarded to the Democratic Presidential-Campaign Team for their historic achievement of transforming a sow's ear into a silk-purse knock-off in plain sight on the world stage and without the aid of lipstick. Consider the enormity of the accomplishment:

Rap Sheet of a Silk-purse Knock-off

• The knock-off has a questionable pedigree:
  • origin, including dubious American birthright citizenship, shrouded in smoke , mirrors, and, yes, a "funny" name;
  • disputed religious affiliation;
  • education records withheld;
  • leadership experience laughable;
  • legislative experience — "present";
  • grasp of history, geography, diplomacy, and ancillary disciplines — absent;
  • appeal to the baser instincts of the idolaters — adorable.
• He has affiliations that would have wilted the aspirations of anyone lacking affirmative action from the media:
  • a wife who makes disgraceful remarks about the Nation he seeks to lead;
  • a foul-mouthed racist mentor;
  • personal and professional associations with felons, traitors, and anti-Semites.
• His core constituency comprises:
  • rabid leftists;
  • leaders of rogue regimes;
  • at least 200,000 Germans;
  • at most a couple dozen disaffected soldiers;
  • all of Holyshitwood;
  • the insane, the zany, the worshipful, and the perpetually perplexed.

An incredible accomplishment indeed, on behalf of a rapper with a rap-sheet albatross in place of bling. Congratulations are in order to the recipients, whose prize money will be drawn from the hides of the unsuspecting dupes, as well as from the nest eggs of the undeserving victims. Team Obama deserves it, as does the electorate.