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Wednesday, April 1, 2015

March Madness, April Folly, and Winter of Discontent

Nuclear Is Winter of Our Discontent

Image via Theo
In early March our Fiddler-in-Chief, Barack "Nero" Obama, assiduously prepared his March Madness bracket. Having completed this most pressing task on his agenda, he turned to his favorite pastime — destabilizing the Middle East. You see, boys and girls, Obama is only a pretend scholar, and history was never his forte. Having been briefed (ever so briefly) on the so-called "mutual assured destruction" [MAD] strategy, which succeeded in averting a nuclear annihilation between the United States and the Soviet Union, he embarked on a similar strategy for the relatively stable Middle East.

The middle east is now relatively stable, because a doomsday nuclear exchange requires at least two antagonistic nuclear powers. But this crucial bit of information escaped the usual steel-trap mind of our esteemed steamed president. He, therefore, pursued with a vengeance his phantom nuclear stand off between Israel and Iran, where, in fact none was required.

Once our narcissistic president embarks on a quest there is no turning him around. No amount of rational argument can sway him, for you see, boys and girls, Obama is more nearly infallible than the Pope — he is, after all, The Obama who was only wrong once in his life (the one time when he thought he had made a mistake). The Obama is on the verge of closing, to quote our fool-for-all-seasons VP, "a big f*cking deal" that will enable Iran to amass a nuclear stockpile. If, like most low-information and/or wilfully ignorant people you think this will be a good thing, think again. The other bit of crucial information that has escaped all the celebrants of this immense folly is this: MAD can only work if all participants in such a deadly game are sane, namely, no one is willing to risk total mutual annihilation. I submit that Iran is willing to risk it, however, because their holy obsessive goal in life is the death of all the world's Jews, especially those who live in Israel.

If you are inclined to think "so what", you might want to consider all the repercussions of such a calamity, not just those that are assured with certainty — the destruction of Israel and Iran. When (God forbid) a nuclear attack is launched by Iran, if Israel concludes that Iran's attack will annihilate the State of Israel (a decision that will have to be made within minutes of the launch), Israel will immediately launch their retaliatory attack. But don't relax just yet. The retaliation will be total. Every available weapon within the IDF's reach will be expended. If an excess of available weapons remains after all of Israel's enemies in the Middle East have been targeted, the remaining weapons will be targeted against Israel's historical enemies (you know who you are). Then, after all of that mayhem, you (wherever you may be) might have to contend with the nuclear winter that follows.

How's that relaxation working out for you?

Post 2,595 March Madness, April Folly, and Winter of Discontent

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